Superman is gonna be emo now

August 22, 2008 at 1:49 pm (Movie, Random, Superheroes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Warner Bros. has announced that they’re going to be making Superman not crappy this time around reintroducing Superman. It’s supposed to be a similar situation to how The Incredible Hulk was a replacement for Hulk. *sigh* I hope they do it right this time. We don’t need a box set of superhero movies that sucked coming out in the future. It’d be on “I Love the New Millennium” and I’d want to help make fun of it. Since Superman flopped in 2006 there is no Batman vs. Superman (It was originally planned for Christmas of this year or sometime in 2009) or Justice League movie (Thank goodness!) coming out for awhile. I’m think they’re trying to give people time to forget the last Superman movie in order to help build up hype for the new one later.

This time around Warner Bros. Pictures Group President “…wants his next pack of superhero movies to be bathed in the same brooding tone as ‘The Dark Knight.’ Creatively, he sees exploring the evil side to characters as the key to unlocking some of Warner Bros.’ DC properties.”-comingsoon.net. By “DC properties” I think he meant making a good plot for the movie 😉 (You know like Marvel movies do except for that horrible horrible X-Men 3 movie where Cyclops got killed in the first 30 seconds for no good reason besides the fact that Brett Ratner wanted him to. I betcha Bryan Singer wishes he didn’t drop it to make Superman Returns now, but I digress.) How the heck do you show Superman as evil?
I’m betting they’re gonna:

A. Copycat The Dark Knight by killing off the love interest Louis Lane
B. Find some red Kryptonite like in Smallville and make sure it gets stuck in him somehow

Wasn’t Superman emo enough in Superman Returns? I guess not. I’m gonna look for some Kryptonite razor blades to give them so he can go cut himself to make the movie better this time around.

Permalink 7 Comments

Wonderwoman would totally be a lesbian

August 15, 2008 at 11:24 am (Random, Superheroes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I found another really cool article on The Topless Robot. It’s “10 Reasons No One Cares About Wonder Woman.” I’ll give you the rundown of the list but make sure to check out the article yourself. It has really good examples of each case.

10. Her costume sucks (Scary blue patriotic granny panties ftl!)

9. No good storylines

8. Most comics are terrible (from what I’ve seen I agree)

7. Golden Age Wonder Woman was really lame

6. “Her Lasso of Bondage” (omg it’s so true, I mean seriously that lasso reminds me of how much of a hoe Stacy X (Apparently known as Ripcord now) is in X-men. Also has anyone ever noticed that Wonderwoman’s boots are so just red hooker boots? Somtimes really tacky hooker boots but still.)
She's gonna get ya!

She's gonna get ya!

5. The Invisible plane sucked (How dumb of an idea was the invisible plane I mean really!)
4. Terrible normal villains and almost no super-villains
3. Steve Trevor isn’t hot are desirable in any way (why is he in that comic, clearly she’s a lesbian people! I mean come on Amazon princess.)

2. No sidekicks or cool butler friends to speak of

1. She’s just a girl version of Superman (and Superman really sucks, seriously Batman could totally kick his ass any day of the week. It’s why he never joined the Justice League. 😉 )

I’d like to add one to the list actually. She has no real secret identity. One of the main good things about superheroes is that they have to hide their secret lives from their loved ones so that

A. They don’t think they’re a freak and leave them 😉 and
B. So no super-villian decides to kidnap them and hold them for randsom or kill them.

Plus isn’t the whole part of a super heroes secret identity supposed to make them relateable and nobody wants to relate to a blue granny panty wearing Amazon that wears hooker boots! Does she ever wear normal clothes?

Permalink 3 Comments